Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
