great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
