She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
