Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
