Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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