i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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