Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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