does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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