This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
