no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
