Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Randomize
