living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize