Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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