Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
