The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
