sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Your cock deserves a montage
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
