Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
im on a boat
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