I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
