It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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