True but thats because hes a fetus.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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