well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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