The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
