I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
