i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
