he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
