Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
