but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
