You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize