so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
