Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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