YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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