I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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