Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
