McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
