You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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