UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
smell my finger.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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