After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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