She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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