Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i will never coherently bang her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
