the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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