He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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