two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
