Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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