i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
