just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
