It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
