even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
