I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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