I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
