how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize