You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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