nut hugger
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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