Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
